How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (2024)

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How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (1)

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How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (2)

girlmama61080

I’m not a gift giver and really feel like V- Day is a consumer holiday. My husband and I are good at showing each other, using our perspective love languages, many times daily / weekly that we love and care for each other. But he is still insistent on giving each other “just a little something”. To me… that’s still buying a valentines gift… regardless of price. So now I’m scrambling to try and find some trinket that’s small.. yet meaningful enough.. so we can have something to exchange in less than two weeks.

When… I frickin do that all the time… we both do.. if we see something that is small and meaningful we will get it if we can afford it. But no… it’s Valentine’s Day so now we have to FIND something meaningful. It just seems lame and not special.

Has anyone had success with convincing not to get v day gifts?

How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (3) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (4) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (5) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (6) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (7) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (8)

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How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (9)

TeeenieWahine

So it sounds like his love language is gift giving. Maybe if Valentine’s Day is important to him, then perhaps you guys can compromise on the gift giving during random times and instead do Valentine’s Day for gifts? If you’re feeling overwhelmed with it I’d let him know.

Valentine’s Day wasn’t my thing either. But my husband is into it. And he always takes me to dinner and buys me flowers. I find him something small to reciprocate. And I celebrate with him because I think it’s sweet and makes him happy.

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girlmama61080

@TeeenieWahine,

yea a part of me is just like… dude, suck it up for your husband. And then another part of me is like… but there has to be some type of compromise.

I’ll talk with him about my overwhelm. Tbh - I’m embarrassed bc I’m overwhelmed by like literally everything lately and maybe I just need to go with the flow instead of bring up another issue. Idk ����‍♀️

How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (17) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (18) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (19) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (20) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (21) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (22)

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TeeenieWahine

@girlmama61080,

I think a compromise is a good solution. Talk it out with him.

How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (24) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (25) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (26) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (27) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (28) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (29)

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Supercc101

My husband and I mutually decided not to do gifts, but to just do or make something thoughtful for each other.

I would suggest talking to him and letting him know nothing has caught your eye and you don’t want to buy something out of the necessity to. That it wouldn’t feel like a genuinely expression of your love for him to buy something random. Let him know you still want to do something meaningful. Ask him what you can do instead to make him feel loved! Maybe that’s making his favorite dinner, sitting down for a movie, write a love note, going out for ice cream, etc.

Personally extravagant valentines days are overrated but I still think it’s a good time to show a little extra love cuz why not!

How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (31) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (32) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (33) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (34) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (35) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (36)

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girlmama61080

@Supercc101,

I think he’d love a note and some beer actually haha. A love note is a great idea

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Supercc101

@girlmama61080,

glad we were able to spark some inspiration for you! Good luck��

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BridgetHansen

I devoted all of 5 minutes looking for and finding a V-Day gift for my husband online. LoL In the time it took you to write this post, you could have gone and picked out a gift for him and have it delivered to your house. To be honest, this seems like an extremely small thing that you are turning into a huge problem. It seems like you have deeper seeded resentment towards him.

How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (51) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (52) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (53) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (54) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (55) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (56)

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girlmama61080

@BridgetHansen,

definitely not a problem and that’s what I always do… spend a few mins and waste a few bucks on a mindless gift. Trying to see if anyone has ideas other than that. It’s too mundane.

How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (58) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (59) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (60) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (61) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (62) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (63)

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bigmomenergy

I mean, can’t you just get him his favorite candy or a special drink super easily? If you guys already get each other little treats frequently I don’t really see why doing it on Valentine’s Day is any harder? I also enjoy Valentine’s Day even though my husband show each other we love each other every day, doesn’t mean it’s still not fun to have another excuse to do something sweet!

How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (64) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (65) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (66) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (67) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (68) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (69)

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girlmama61080

@bigmomenergy,

that’s a good idea! He’s really into craft beers. Thank you.

How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (71) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (72) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (73) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (74) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (75) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (76)

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bigmomenergy

@girlmama61080,

I get how the stress of a “holiday” can get to you but I think you were just overthinking it! A six pack of good beer is perfect!

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KramersMom

@bigmomenergy,

I was going to suggest the same thing.

A bottle of wine/whiskey/case of beer or his favourite dark chocolate are always my go tos for my husband.

OP It doesn’t have to be extravagant. It sounds like making the day special is important to him, so I wouldn’t sh*t on that if it were me.

How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (84) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (85) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (86) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (87) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (88) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (89)

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sonshineofmylife

I hear you. I struggle with ideas because my husband’s birthday, Christmas, and our wedding anniversary are all very close and by the time it is February, I feel like I need a break. �� But it is sweet of him that he wants to give something, and I would go with something little indeed —like chocolates or drinks as suggested above.

How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (90) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (91) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (92) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (93) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (94) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (95)

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girlmama61080

@sonshineofmylife,

that’s so me too! My husband bday is the week after v day and so it’s a lot lol

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asdfmommm

Why do you feel like you have to get something meaningful? I think you could just get him some of his favorite candies.

I personally care about Valentine’s Day enough that I want my husband to get me at least some candy. It would be off-putting to me if he couldn’t even put a tiny bit of effort into buying candy or getting me some little stuffed animal or something, nothing too extravagant but jeez, at least a little something.

How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (103) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (104) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (105) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (106) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (107) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (108)

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girlmama61080

@asdfmommm,

I guess it’s bc he always gets be something meaningful. He’s so good at it and so I don’t want to fall short. Just something internal maybe that I put pressure on myself.

I appreciate you post and the self reflection!!

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girlmama61080

@asdfmommm,

I completely agree with you. If he’s getting something then I am DEFINITELY getting something. I think I’m going to bring up the option of presents for Xmas and then acts of service (no gift but a dinner or massage or something sexual, etc) for v day.

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GingerChemist22

Does it have to be a physical gift? My husband likes it when I just write him a note, plan a low key romantic and fun evening or give him some framed photos of us for his office. I usually throw in his favorite chocolates or a drink or something too. :)

How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (123) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (124) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (125) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (126) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (127) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (128)

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girlmama61080

@GingerChemist22,

I like that a lot! Especially the pic thing. This post actually kind of got me excited about the type of gift I can give �� I was thinking very narrowly about the gift

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bananastar07

This is how I feel about Xmas, I stopped participating a few years ago.

How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (136) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (137) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (138) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (139) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (140) How can I convince my husband not to give gifts on Valentine’s Day?? - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (141)

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girlmama61080

@bananastar07,

I have gotten my extended family to go secret Santa which I love so much more! I wish my husbands side would do it but they are die hard gift givers. Hence my husbands love for gift giving. So I’m trying to meet in the middle somehow lol

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mcij

You can always cook his favorite dinner and give a sweet card also

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ejbomb

I think if you’re going to have this talk, it needs to be at least a month before the holiday, not the week before. If he’s a gift giver, he likely has already gotten you something. My partner and I are very clear - gifts? No gifts? Small gifts? Specific gifts? And that helps a lot. At this point, get or make him something he’ll appreciate then have this conversation well before the next holiday.

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